Here an email I sent to who asked for my life story.....here's how it started
Okay where do I start other than,
“Yes voices exist...yes the voice is actually said out loud”
“Once some realised the psychiatrist did say voices”?
This was what my mind pondered on as I become deaf to the sound of Script of ‘Norm’(Erving Goffman, Open University, DD100, UK, and Milton Keynes. Phil Woodward, 2007) ‘Narration’. All I can say in those times - words – at the time reached me from nowhere. But being streetwise I remained alert and with clarity to forms of ‘Abnormal to be Normal’ but also, “Danger to mad/ness”?!
Businessman became the hunted!
Mad/ness? Yes the mad voices of Script ‘Dissension’. “Those voices of someone blaming you because they are good fun loving criminals to those needing salvation of a ‘loud mouthed....!’. That is the truth of blame in Script Dissension as Psychosocial (Open University, DSE212) ‘paranoia’ is the building of tonal energy that releases emotional/scent. That is where a Performance and the ‘Day/night/day continuum’ exist as pieces of Homeostatic settings’ narrations’. I experimented with views of this continuum and its’ Setting as a: truth of the Self inflicted self-righteous nothingness?
“Have you heard of Bi-cameralism”
“It’s a denial of medical, religious and political delusional silence”!?
“Clear the barrier to all and my E-Books tell you how to smile”!.....‘loud mouth or what’.
“They don’t use big-wig words like”...”Be happy” lol
“They show you the instructions to facialise” .
“Is BAMBAM picking on someone again”...lol.
Bi-cameralism exist in their state of passing where: denial is overcome to the state of ‘yes I hear myself’. At that point begins a story of ‘Self technologies’ (Foucault). I was alert because I didn’t have thought – in my truth of ascending ‘Script’ Dissension other than,
“I’ll take an overdose if you do that”.
A day or so later a visit to the minimart to buy cider and paracetamol. I walked in the cashier looked up, far and away and yes 12 hours later I was in the critical ward. Blip, Blip, Blip ‘sorry we have too check you every 15 minutes, I heard voice’ blip, blip, blip. Whilst I was recuperating I played computer chess against Kasparov and got a draw...lol. Then, routine said...routine mental health check....!? and !
“Me or them Kasparov”...lol...
“I’ve got an imagination about how thought truly exists ”
“Its a Lower Voice of Significance”
“Yes the Bi-cameral state can hear 10 miles away” but,
“Medication makes the system of the continuum confused”?
Then came routine Ridgewood.
“The local fun loving criminal mental health institute”?
“It’s okay I understand you diagnose my delusional sounds”
“lol want to moan now.......secrets of poli-thepara-tics, heretics and witches”
These are a disease of Neocheating illuminate of America... I’m Lawn Mower Man...teddy bear !!!!!!’s
“I’m a ‘one atom’ that you need to discover”.
I’m in turmoil daily dealing with a true of ‘Norm’ face of society as a Neanderthal of the Garden of Eden due to,
“Medicaments they experimented on me with”. “My body has started to adjust to Norm of sound”
“As is my right to self-righteous madness”, “Bliss ignorance is the body”
“”That is my old C.P.N’s”
‘right to work ‘Madness’,’ His ‘voices’ not mine...! or ?..your turn now Globalists (DD100)..
So anyway, so it began in Ridgewood with,
“Take that...tablet...ahem in ventriloquism...lol”
“Them or me”?...
“Polly got a Quacker”...experimental drugs and ducklings’ oooops....doctor of old...ahem.
SORry where did I get to..still having flashback from drugs’...lol
So right, anyway here’s the consultant and he stays spreading voices at me and.....
yes he responded each time and I thought’
“Wow human’s seem to have cognition”
“Yes I’m streetwise”. lol
Anyway around that time.....Sly blink. And yes more cognition between us with,
“DO YOU HEAR VOICES”!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
“Yes”....emotion runs scared on the movie set...lol
“Well yes these people are dealing in fun loving criminals...now wander why they are overworked with the crackers.
Now no one can say what happened in my world because of that,
“But what I say is I blame no one other than”
“Loud mouth politicians, spiritualists and just about every noise in time”
“Get the meaning nothing is to blame in Homeostatic Script of Psychosocial ‘Godhead’ (A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada
“Yes I’ve discovered ‘Total quantum mass” but Script Dissension”....you took an overdose...Prove it..? or !..
Well now I can talk of how the Vagus nerve in the brain has become dysfunctional in terms of Tardif Dyskinesia causing sublime issues of voice via the ears, nose and throat including emotional tinnitus. I can live happy and serious and either way I practise the truth of my books that taught ‘us of me’ not to lie in terms of Script voices and body at all levels of ‘My’ Core Identity. I call my Life Narration of Script my Destiny.
“Do not invade my private home lightly with ‘loud mouths’ because Script has a part that I make amicable to my honest peak of civil tolerance before I speak like I did to the first consultant, “loudly including emotional tinnitus as one”. “My time of self-righteous singular motion of voices”.
“I long to go out at times into silent wander at being able to hold my head and watch the wonderment of people, trees and creatures passing by”!
Psychiatry wanted perfection I can be happy with my voices...can yours’?
So 23 years of now I’ve left the Open University and already writing the title at the time of 2004 ‘The healing of someone that once knew’. With,
“And yes I’m a Fundamentalist Socio-psychologist of Script and Interpellation” ‘Louis Althusser and Erving Goffman’, “So much of so little we could explain.
These E-books - nowadays are at my website . It’s a daily struggle where I defy anyone who wants to preach to my mental state of a Gardener via my padded home...as to what are voices? I can say in 2015 I know exactly the answer. My life continues and I hope stupid people - in power - can once speak to me as is too: how primitive I find human knowledge...
I want to watch the world and say, “Yes I know you can hear Déjà Vu”, “It’s nonsense”...”Humble French look”... Lol....Fundamentalist, (DD100, Phil Woodward, 2007).
my world addthis.com
and get us noticed.
Mark Harry Mathews, SocSci(open).